From my Heart to Yours: A letter to Parents of Cranio Kids…
So let me start off and say Relax… breathe… everything is going to be okay. Often times I see a lot of parents who are weighed down with anxieties and fear about their child’s future. And although it would seem like the biggest fear would be medically related, surprisingly a lot of parents fear the stigma that is attached to their child’s craniofacial condition—how will be they be treated by the world. Well although I can’t promise you that everyone will be nice or kind, I can give you hope. Hope that everything will be okay. Your child’s difference won’t harm them, but just like my mom and I discovered it can be the greatest gift in your life.
From my heart to yours here are some tips in walking out this craniofacial journey with your loved one.
Never stop being your child’s biggest Advocate. This is my favorite. My mom was my biggest Advocate, at home, at school, in the hospitals. Don’t let anyone put limits on your child. If you know they can achieve it, let them fly. Do whatever is necessary to help them get to that point. Sometimes that means being the annoying parent at school, or getting the doctor to listen to your concerns. This walk isn’t for the faint at heart and your child needs you to not only be strong for them, but to be strong with them. Your child’s confidence and their success starts at home! My mom always let me know that I could do anything and that my disability and difference was not a hindrance or a crutch but merely an asset that would help me be the best version of myself.
Drown out the negativity! It doesn’t matter what the world may think or say it only matter’s what they believe about themselves. Help build your child’s self-esteem. Allow them to realize that their difference is only a fraction of who they are. When you don’t make a big deal out of their difference neither will they. This also applies to surgeries and procedures… when you are calm, they are calm. I looked to my mom to be my rock and even when things got painful and hard she never faltered; because of her assurance I was able to endure even the most painful of medical procedures.
There’s always a teaching moment. Whether your child is starting a new grade or going to a new school, there’s always a time to educate others on facial differences. Don’t look at it as an inconvenience look at it as an opportunity to spread more kindness and awareness. On the outside craniofacial conditions can be quite intimidating—the diagnosis, the appearance of it all, but it doesn’t have to be if you are willing to educate.
Be Kind to your feelings, be Kind to your child’s feelings. Everything isn’t rosy all the time. Nevertheless, keep every battle in perspective. The end result will always be to live a healthier functional life and sometimes that means taking a break or stepping away. You’re not a bad parent if you choose to opt out of a surgery or procedure (if it’s not crucial) and your child isn’t any less strong if they get weak. You know how much your family can handle and you know what’s best for your child.
These are just a few things I have come to learn by walking this journey with my mom. I am blessed to have come so far in life, but I know I would not be where I am if I didn’t have my mom by my side. She was and still is my biggest supporter. I applaud every parent who has a craniofacial child because the road isn’t easy nevertheless, I am confident that in keeping the above principles in mind your child will grow up to live a normal, healthy and successful life because I am living a normal, healthy and successful life!
Rasheera Dopson is an advocate and motivational speaker. Her degree in English literature is the foundation of her writing featured in publications such as Upscale Magazine, The Children’s Craniofacial Blog, The Mighty, and many more. Serving as an ambassador and spokesperson for children with facial differences, she volunteers at Atlanta Children’s Hospital and other non-profits. Her mission is to bring awareness and support for families affected by chronic illnesses and disabilities. In her network Beauty with a Twist she encourages young women and men to embrace their difference by building their self-esteem and confidence. In her spare time she enjoys blogging, watching movies, eating baked goods and most importantly, spending time with her beloved family and friends. Atlanta, Georgia is her home.
“Rasheera Dopson brings a passion and presence that is articulate and moving to all who hear her and read her powerful writing. She changes peoples’ lives. I recommend her highly.”
-David Roche, author/speaker/filmmaker, davidroche.com, loveatsecondsight.org
