Fatherhood: Part 3
Kites rise highest against the wind - not with it
—Winston Churchill
Jack is five now, and he is as the saying goes, all boy, a 4-foot-tall bundle of energy excitement and joy. My son is one of the happiest children I know. He loves to read, loves school, loves his Mommy and Daddy—Although now, much to my chagrin, he is calling me Dad more and Daddy less—loves Legos and Star Wars, loves to swim, even with the trach, and more importantly he loves Jesus.
I got over my anger with God and we joined Father Ron’s church. Every day Ashley and I see the unique joys of being Jack’s parents. While I wish I could say that after the first year of his life everything has been perfect, I can’t. We have had ups and downs, setbacks, and joys. When he was two, we found out he had a dead spot on his brain from pressing against his skull; at that time the doctors couldn’t tell us if Jack would function intellectually at normal level or not— this was a major setback. At three, we had him tested for cognitive development and he was functioning at the level expected of a six-year-old—major joy!
Being a parent is hard, there is no manual for it. Being a parent of a child with medical needs is even harder. But I have come to understand that we appreciate the things we with struggle the most, or work the hardest for, more than what comes easiest to us. Maybe that is why I love Jack so much, seeing his struggle has really and truly made me appreciate him. I also know now that when we are faced with great challenges we need support, people who know what we are going through, and that there is a gamut of emotions that parents face when they find out that their child is “sick,” but those emotions are normal. So, if you are struggling to understand why this has happened to your child, know you are not alone, there are people who have walked in your shoes, and there are people who care about you. Talk to them. Don’t try to be Superman and handle it all yourself.
I still don’t know why God chose not to answer our prayers and spare Jack from Crouzons.
Maybe it’s because as he walks off the 18th green at August National, after sinking a putt to win the Masters. When Jim Nance asks how he dealt with the pressure, Jack will smile and say this wasn’t pressure, try learning to swim with trach—that’s pressure!
Or, perhaps one day when Jack is President of the United States a reporter will ask him how he handles the stress of the job Jack will say this isn’t stressful, try wearing the RED System.
Or maybe just maybe when Jack is a dad and his child say dad I don’t know how to go on, Jack will smile with love and say let me give you some advice. I don’t know where I’ll be at that moment, but I know will be proud of him!
