Warriors Have Scars
I like to consider myself as a “jack of all trades” kind of person. Since I began working at the age of sixteen. I’ve worked in many occupations I’ve held positions from cooking at Wendy’s to spending some time as a corrections officer and today I am a commercial lines account manager for an insurance agency. Though the one area that I have become an expert in is living with craniosynostosis. The correct term is unilateral craniosynostosis for the last 37 years.
My many cranio-surgeries have consisted of two craniosynostosis surgeries, a cleft palate repair, ear penning, and most recently, an eye lid lift, and fat injections. My first craniosynostosis surgery to correct my case of unilateral craniosynostosis, that included a cleft lip repair was in 1982, and my second craniosynostosis surgery was in 1991. My first cranio involved using some ribs from my right side that were crushed up, and molded into my new skull. My second cranio surgery involved the construction of a new eye socket, and once again, the rebuilding of the right side of my face. The last cranio-surgery was just a few years ago at the age of 34. I had fat injections, an eyelid lift, a dermoid removed from my eye, and some revision to the scar that runs along the top of my head from left ear to right ear.
Growing up as a cranio-kid was no different than any other child. However, I did have limitations. Some limitations included not playing contact sports such as football and wrestling. But, this did not stop me from horseplay with my brothers. We just had to be cautious about my head. I rode bicycles without a helmet like most other kids living in the 80's and 90's. Thankfully the skull is resilient to most trauma, because I’ve been dumped on my head, and even had a bicycle that went airborne land on my forehead 2-years after my second cranio-surgery (that’s another story). Not being allowed to participate in contact sports did not stop me from doing my part though. I held positions on many of my middle school and high school sports teams as a student trainer. These positions still enabled me to participate on sports teams with my classmates. My most remembered time was when my high school football team won our third consecutive championship.
First appearances are everything. Growing up and living with facial deformities is not easy to do. I remember occasions I was picked last for school sports such as kickball, or dodgeball, not because of my athletic abilities, but because of my appearance. There were times I was called some pretty awful names by kids just because of how I looked. Kids are kids, and can be mean. Even some adults are too. Adults usually just stare like I had food stuck to my lip. If I had a nickel every time I heard the questions “how did you get that scar on your head”, or “what happened to your head” I could retire today and live a very satisfying lifestyle. I’m not sure if it’s curiosity or stupidity for people that make them ask such hurtful questions. Just because I’ve gotten older does not stop the questions from occurring; I use this as an opportunity to educate people on craniosynostosis. When I was younger I tried to keep my hair long enough to cover my scar, but as I’ve gotten older, I let this baby show! I see a scar as sign of survival, not defeat! Warriors have battle scars.
Even as an adult I feel self-conscious about my facial appearance because of craniosynostosis. Ever hear the saying “I’m not where I want to be, but think God that I’m not where I used to be”, the same goes for craniosynostosis surgery. I am blessed to have had skilled handed surgeons such as Bauman Guyeron, my original craniofacial surgeon, and Atif Collins, my ocularplastic surgeon, both from University Hospitals in Cleveland Ohio to perform what I would call miracles on my skull and eyes. I know that I am not going to win some beauty contest, but hey, I’m okay with that. I am who I am. Having a full-time job that demands a lot of mental work, a full-time college student, husband, and father, I have no time in my life for shallow people who cannot see past what I consider my physical flaws.
Most parents probably want to know what the future looks like for their kids, in the form of their offspring, intellect, and such. Well, I have one daughter and she has no facial flaws that my untrained eye can see. She has been told she needs braces by an orthodontist, but cosmetically she looks fine. I have three brothers, and a half-brother. All have no seen facial deformities either. As far as intellect, I am currently enrolled at Bethel University, pursing my bachelor degree in Organizational Leadership with concentration in Healthcare Management. My cumulative GPA is 3.97. and my IQ tests have always been above average. So, just because your child is handed a diagnosis, don’t let this diagnosis ruin your child’s life. Let them live a normal childhood!
To the young people who might read this story, do not feel ashamed of what your appearance is. As long as you work hard, have determination, you will succeed!
Having a child with facial deformities is not going to be easy. I think it is important to remind children to always look for the inner beauty that a person has, and not the outside appearance.
Remember a scar is a sign of a warrior who fought a battle and won!
